Wednesday, December 29, 2004

The Million Dollar Hotel

"I have a lover
a lover like no other
She got soul, soul, soul, sweet soul
And she teach me how to sing
Shows me colours when there's none to see
Gives me hope when I can't believe
That for the first time
I feel love
I have a brother
When I'm a brother in need
I spend my whole time running
He spends his running after me
When I feel myself going down
I just call and he comes around
But for the first time
I feel love
My father is a rich man
He wears a rich man's cloak
Gave me the keys to his kingdom coming
Gave me a cup of gold

He said I have many mansions
And there are many rooms to see
But I left by the back door
And I threw away the key
And I threw away the key
Yeah, I threw away the key
Yeah, I threw away the key
For the first time
For the first time
For the first time
I feel love..."

After I jumped, It occurred to me,
Life is perfect. Life is the best.
It's full of magic and beauty,
opportunity and television,
and surprises, lots of surprises, yeah.
And then there's that stuff that everybody longs for
but they only really feel when it's gone.
All that just kind of hit me.
I guess you don't really see it all that clearly
when you're , you know,

Eloise… she was something to live for. And I guess that means
something to die for.

Whatever Eloise was or wasn’t
Didn’t matter to me.
She was the love
of my life.
Even though I hadn’t actually met her…

- I can’t die
- You can’t?
- I don’t exist.
- So how come?
- I’m fictional.
- Is fictional good for you?. I’m sorry, because I’m just… I’m trying to make… an impression… and maybe even good impression. And I didn’t know that maybe you didn’t remember me.
- I remember everything.
- Oh, everything?
- Everything
- That’s a lot (he hugs her)
- Yeah… I wouldn’t recommended it.

Eloise moved like a shadow. You could almost see right through her.
It was like in the day she lived in her body, but at night, she left it for others.

And look what happened.
The world was spinning fast that night
I just hoped that I could hold on and be part of it.

“I’ve got not hold
in this world
just gravity
Look in the time
I’ve got not hood
In this world
Just you
And you are not mine.
Oh, stateless
Oh, weightless

- So… So, why do you like me so much anyway?
- I don’t know.
- Tom, you know, you can’t always just say yes or no, or I don’t know, you know. It would must be a reason and It would be nice to know what it is. So, why don’t you think about it and I’ll wait.

- (he sighs…)
- (she sighs…)

- Love can never be portrayed the same way as a tree, or the sea, or any other
mystery. It’s the eyes with which we see. It’s the sinner in the saint, It’s the light inside the paint.
(off: I always knew those lines would come in handy one day)
- (she sighs…)

I had this fantasy, suddenly that we’d have a normal life. She’d come one day
with her suitcase and stay. We’d watch TV., maybe even go to the diner. She’d
look at me and I’d feel like I’d reached her.

“Every chip from every cup
Every promise given up
Every reason that's not enough
Is falling, falling at your feet.

Every band elastic limit
Every race when there's nothing in it
Every winner that's lost a ticket
Is falling, falling at your feet.
I 've come crowling, falling at your feet..."

- But this (touch her and then touch himself) It's even better than the very best
moment of my life. And I certainly hope, that this is maybe even good and better
for you, too. And this here, with me?

- I care for you. Because you should certainly have yourself even if Izzy didn’t think so and said you were nothing and went ahead and did what he did to you. And that’s why I went ahead and let him go off the roof just like he wanted.

- We can make our own way down to South America maybe. Wow, can you imagine? That would be so amazing. It’s supposed to be so much warmer there. It’s like a wet heat because it’s raining all the time. And the air gets so damp, and the fish, they come in the door and swim out the window. And it gets hot, too. Very hot. And the birds, and they break through the screens to die in the bedrooms (she falls sleep)

Mmmmh…. Mmmmh… I knew her plan could never work. It would never work. But is was the sweetest thing I ever heard. The sweetest thing I ever heard.

It’s funny the way stuff finally hits you. Take love for example. All thar love that led me to Eloise is the same love that led me to kill my best friend. Exact same love, different results.

Maybe in the future they’ll have all this figured out.

By the way, I think it was my ego that made me do it. I didn’t even know I had one, until I met Eloise.
She came. Just like I always imagine it. I wish I was still there.
Yeah, like I was saying, after I jumped, it occurred to me.
Life is perfect. Life is the best.
It’s full of magic and beauty and surprises.
You just don’t see it all that clearly when you’re still there.

All I ever wanted was to reach Eloise, just to reach her.

I did. And I ended up turning the world upside down along the way. Even if just
for a moment.

“All my life
I worshipped her
Her golden voice,
Her beauty’s beat
How she made us feel
How she made me real
The ground beneath her feet
The ground beneath her feet

I can’t be sure of anything
Black is white
And cold is heat
What I worshipped
Stole my love away
Was the ground beneath her feet
Was the ground beneath her feet

Go lightly down
Your darkened ways
Go lightly underground
I’ll be down there
In another day
I won’t rest until you’re free.
Let me love you
Let me rescue you
Let me bring you
Where two roads meet
I come back above,
Where there is only love
Only love…”